When you file for divorce in New York, you have several options. You and your ex can ask the courts to make all of the major decisions, which can be beneficial if you don't agree and can't set terms on your own. A contested divorce involves making a case to the courts and asking them to address the major issues in your divorce, including custody of your kids and asset division.
However, for professionals who share children, the reality is that they will need to work with one another because of shared custody arrangements until their kids are all adults. Filing an uncontested divorce where you set your own terms can be empowering and also a great way to reduce the cost of your divorce.
Additionally, an uncontested divorce allows you to create your own parenting plan and submit it to the courts, giving you more control over the terms that the plan includes. A parenting plan outlines the expectations for both parents and for shared custody after the divorce.
You can create your own ideal arrangements for all major concerns
If you are both professional adults, you will need to make decisions about whose insurance covers the children and who will be responsible for child care or emergency school pickups on any given day. There is also parenting time during the summer and school vacations to consider. A truly even split is often difficult to achieve, but not necessarily impossible.
The two of you will have to try to determine whether alternating schedules is the best option or if you can set some shared parenting time for important days like birthdays and holidays. Your parenting plan should not just address who gets the children when, but also how the two of you plan to interact and your general parenting rules such as educational standards and religious adherence.
You should also have rules for communication between the parents and for changing the schedule in the parenting plan. Although you obviously want to avoid conflict if possible, having rules in place to make it easier to handle when it does inevitably arise will help keep the peace in your family after the divorce.
Working together and flexibility are important for professional parents
When you both work full-time, that means there isn't one parent who can conveniently provide daytime care in an emergency. You both need to be willing to work with one another. If one parent has an important client meeting or business trip, the other should try to meet them halfway by agreeing to assume parental authority and responsibilities during that time. By being flexible and working with one another, you can protect both of your jobs and the stability of the home life your children experience.